Since
they are used interchangeably, I used to believe grieving and mourning refer to
each other.
Grief/ Grieving: keen mental suffering or distress
over affliction or loss; sharp sorrow; painful regret; to feel grief, great
sorrow; to distress mentally
Mourn/Mourning: to feel or express sorrow of grief
Current
reflections of experts suggest these may be different, and may manifest in an
unpredictable sequence. One article
suggests grief is the initial shock and other factors related to a loss, while
mourning is the longer-term process that follows as we attempt to come to terms
with our loss, rearrange our lives, and extract from the loss, those aspects
that are helpful to our healing. (See: Grief and Mourning Distinguished)
While
recognizing everything that may be popular is not necessarily accurate or true,
here are some popular scriptural perspectives on grieving and mourning:
Ecclesiastes 3:1, 4: “There is a time for everything under
the sun”, so why not grief? This verse (and possibly the entire book of
Ecclesiastes) may well be misinterpreted on many fronts, as Solomon likely wrote it on
the heels of his extended, fleshly departure from his faith. Following
the logic of his model, must there also be a time to dishonor God, since there
is ‘a time for everything'?!
Heck no! The Bible is filled with good, wholesome lessons, even from fools, from which we are to
extract and learn from the truth hidden therein, not to repeat what the fool
did simply because 'it's in the Bible.' I'm sure you agree.
Romans 12:15: "Rejoice with those who
rejoice, weep with those who weep, or mourn with those who mourn. Jesus wept,
and so should we.” Again, any verse can be taken out of its context. Did
Jesus and His disciples go mourn with the fellow who had to bury his dead
father and therefore, could not follow Him? Heck no! We are to weep
and mourn over sin within, and the fallen-ness of our world, as Jesus wept over
Jerusalem. Using this verse as a blanket policy (doctrine) to weep and mourn
over the cares of this world is erroneous. We too quickly take statements
from Paul out of their contexts (the chapter, book, and culture in which they
were written), and try to make a broad blanket policy (doctrine) out of them,
then judge others based on our error, even when it clearly conflicts with the
broad, integrated interpretation of the 'whole counsel of God', including His
broadly expressed will and revealed nature.
2 Corinthians 1:3-4 and 1 Thessalonians
4:13: These verses
link grief to hopelessness, which is an interesting link worth pondering. Since
we live in a fallen world, and the rot of sin is all around us, we really
should not be shocked (in grief) to encounter the fruits of sinful living in
the world, in general, or in our personal world. We are not to revert to a
misinterpretation of Romans 12:15, and grieve like the rest of mankind who have
no hope. Rather, we are admonished to focus on and to keep alive our hope in
Christ, hope for a better world to come -- the greatest hope that has ever
touched this planet. Managed properly, our grief is to become a source of
strength for others who grieve and mourn, not by groveling with them in their
hopelessness, but by sharing with them the solid rock of our personal hope. They
will be comforted as they witness God’s comforting work in the grief they/we personally
encounter.
Philippians
4:8 tells us on what to think and meditate in order to keep
alive our hope in Christ. Protracted
grief and deep-seated mourning, however,
could possibly be the fruit of not obeying this instruction, but
rather thinking and meditating on the center
letter of the word: grief. A focus on what I have lost, how I am impacted, and what am I to do now
-- may well be the fertilizer of grief
and mourning that distracts our focus away from our hope in Christ, to the deceptive
cares of this temporal world.
Isaiah 53:3 is another verse that is often taken out of its context. The thinking is, since Christ, our savior, grieved and was "a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief/suffering", therefore we Christians should grieve also. The fallacy of this logic is reflective of Thomas’ response when Jesus advised His disciples, “Lazarus is dead.” Thomas said, “Let us also go, that we may die with him.” (John 11:14-16). This logic also misses the whole counsel of God, as affirmed in the verse that is right next-door. Isaiah 53:4 reveals the reason Christ was a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief/suffering, is that He did it on our behalf, to take on Himself the sin and its punishment, as God’s sacrifice, so we can be FREE to walk in faith and faithfulness towards God. There are countless examples in which Scripture is misinterpreted, simply by our failure to read the neighboring verses.
Isaiah 53:3 is another verse that is often taken out of its context. The thinking is, since Christ, our savior, grieved and was "a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief/suffering", therefore we Christians should grieve also. The fallacy of this logic is reflective of Thomas’ response when Jesus advised His disciples, “Lazarus is dead.” Thomas said, “Let us also go, that we may die with him.” (John 11:14-16). This logic also misses the whole counsel of God, as affirmed in the verse that is right next-door. Isaiah 53:4 reveals the reason Christ was a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief/suffering, is that He did it on our behalf, to take on Himself the sin and its punishment, as God’s sacrifice, so we can be FREE to walk in faith and faithfulness towards God. There are countless examples in which Scripture is misinterpreted, simply by our failure to read the neighboring verses.
We are admonished to ‘live by faith’
four times in The Bible, which is replete with good and bad examples that
demonstrate the results of those who have done this, both successfully and
unsuccessfully. Interpreted in the
vernacular, God’s iterative message to us is:
Please Me.
LIVE BY FAITH!!!!
Here’s how to, and here’s how not to do it.
Signed:
God
So
when it comes to applying this message to the topic of grief and mourning, the
operative question must be, “How can I glorify and please God as I transit this
very temporary dark cloud of grief and mourning?” I believe the root answer must be learning to
recognize, respect, reverence and respond to what
Jesus did for us in this area:
Jesus,
You bore my all my grief.
Anything
You bore for me is no longer mine to bear,
otherwise
it was useless for You to bear it.
By
faith, I roll this unbearable grief onto You
In
You, I have victory over the spirit of grief.
By
faith, my mourning has now become…
my new MORNING!
my new MORNING!
Now what
do you think would be God’s reaction to such a prayer?!
As you reflect on your answer, consider this:
Removing
‘U’ (you) from MOURNING,
and
your focus from the center of GRIEF,
opens
the door to a new MORNING.
